Titus – In My Own Words



Me in my latest Feed gear.

Sup Zorks?

I’m Titus, and to you guys I live in the future United States with my ‘rents and my little brother Smell Factor. I spend most of my time playing games on the Feed, buying stuff I don’t need, and going to the Moon for spring break, which actually sucked.

I totally forgot you guys don’t have feeds yet! You’re so primitive. Since you can’t just look up everything about me on your feeds I’ll share the details of my life with you the hard way, in writing.


My friends and a few other people we met at the moon (which sucked).

I have a core group of friends that I hang out with: Link & Marty, Quendy, Calista & Loga. We do basically everything together like watch TV shows on The Feed, have parties, listen to music on The Feed, go to the moon (which sucked), go to clubs and shop on The Feed. We met a girl while we were at the moon, Violet. She hung out with us for a while but she never really got along with Quendy, Calista & Loga. They were mondo different. I think that’s why I liked Violet so much, because I had been around Quendy, Calista & Loga forever. You can check out a replay of our relationship through your feed. I’ll send it to you. Oh, you can’t. That’s mal. Guess I’ll have to just tell you.

 Romantic Relationships

Calista & Link

So I dated Calista for a while, but things just never really worked out between us. I thought she was ab fab sure, and totally pretty, but it was just like whatever. Then I met Violet on the moon and she was just like so cool and so different from Calista. I wanted to talk to her but I was acting so mal. She liked me anyway and we went on our first date to a club where we were hacked. Then we dated for like a pretty long time, until she got a little crazy and I just couldn’t deal with a sick girl anymore. Then I started dating Quendy, who had been hung up on Link, who was dating Calista. Quendy had tried to hook up with Link a few times but settled for me. I was dating her when Violet went into major mal. Even though I totally ditched her I had to go say goodbye.


Calista & Quendy pretending to be nice to Violet (middle).

Calista, Loga and Quendy are sometimes called bullies. Calista is usually the worst offender. She totally made fun of Quendy when she got all those lesions to impress Link. Calista totally felt threatened that Quendy could maybe steal link from her. All three of the girls made fun of Violet for being different. She didn’t have new clothes or like the latest stuff on her feed like the rest of us did, and Quendy especially liked to talk about Violet behind her back. Calista was cold to her face.

Beauty & Self Image

One of Loga’s hair and makeup trends.

The girls in the future are totally wrapped up in their appearances, which I could show you if you had a feed. Loga changes her hair basically every day to match the girls on Oh? Wow! Thing. Calista and Quendy have to have the latest clothes and they buy new stuff every day so that they’re up to date. Quendy and Calista even got lesions because they were in style. Quendy got a bunch to impress Link. Violet was more concerned about fighting the feed than what she was wearing or how she did her hair.


Link and Calista were the two most popular people in our group. Link was a show off and just an all around goofy guy. The girls love him, especially Quendy and Calista. Plus, he’s a cloned descendent of Abraham Lincoln, which drove people wild. Calista knows all the trends as soon as they become trends. She had the lesions first. Plus she’s ab fab and hot so all the guys want her too. That’s kind of why she and Link are perfect together.


The error screen we got when we were infected!

All of us except Loga got infected with a virus when the hacker on the dance floor touched us. Our feeds were down for days and our parents had to come to the moon to talk to our doctors up there. Violet’s father was too poor to come up. Because she had a crappy feed that she got when she was seven (not as a baby), the virus affected her differently and her feed started to malfunction. She got so sick that she became crazy, and the feed support wouldn’t pay to fix her feed so she just got sicker. That’s when I had to dump her. Too much drama for me.


The hacker infecting us with the virus was a terrible crime. Our parents were going to press charges but the hacker was found dead before they could. Violet said it was a conspiracy but I don’t believe her.


I had never really experienced death until Violet. I didn’t watch her die exactly but I did watch the feed in her die slowly. It corroded in her brain and made her sick, and then she just shut down and never restarted. I guess that’s what she got for trying to fight the best piece of technology ever invented, The Feed.


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