Domestic Violence Isn’t Always Physical: 8 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship – xoJane
“He’s got her in the kitchen by herself. I know he won’t hurt her with his hands. He might throw a cup or a fork at her but he won’t touch her to leave a mark.” Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons
In an article on the website xoJane, domestic violence is described as more than a fight. It is a pattern developed over time that can lead to long lasting side-effects like avoiding hanging out with friends or backing down from conflict in other areas of life. Not all domestic violence is physical, or hands-on. Like Ellen explains in Ellen Foster, not all domestic violence leaves a physical mark. Victims of domestic violence, especially teenagers and young adults, might not feel like they are really being abused if there is no “proof” or if there is no visible evidence.
Rihanna and Chris Brown
“I jammed my hand in my jacket pocket, bracing myself for the next hit.” Dreamland by Sarah Dessen
Rihanna and Chris Brown were a well know musical couple in the 2000s. When their relationship ended (the first time around) allegations came out that Brown beat and battered Rihanna. While the “Don’t Stop the Music” singer denied the abuse for awhile, even taking Brown back for a time, she finally came clean with her story. Rihanna described the beatings, her experience, her reluctance to leave Brown, sounding much like Caitlin in Dreamland awaiting the next hit and living in fear. Stories and rumors of domestic abuse abound in Hollywood and Los Angeles. Celebrities that teens worship–like rappers and pop stars–are the victims and abusers. While there is something to be said for domestic violence awareness, there is also the fear that considerable talk, and the normalizing of subjects like abuse by celebrities may lead teens to believe it’s “no big deal.” According to loveisrespect.org, domestic abuse in teenage relationships is too common. Nearly 1.5 million high school students experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a year. To take it a step further, 1 in 3 adolescents will be on the receiving end of some form of abuse (physical, sexual or emotional) from a partner, and relationship violence usually begins between the ages of 12 and 18.
Domestic violence is a real problem. It is a problem teenagers and young adults can experience anywhere at any time. And don’t be mistaken that this is a “girl problem.” Despite the push of cultural norms, men can also be the victims of domestic violence.